You Are Among Friends

But all I want to do is play The Sims (3) in my pajamas. Why don't I have my own room? Maybe if I just stay out here drinking coffee** and doing whatever I want, they will all be inspired to write rhymes about how hot and awesome girls are when playing video games braless.

Here are the people who will be freaking me out in less than two hours:

First is Cornbread, who also goes by Corn tha Coon, and when I searched for him, Google asked me "Did you mean: corn the coon." He is a really talented and aggressive emcee. Also, I am patently scared of him.* That's why I am listing him first. I am hoping he likes my cat, because if he likes my cat I will know not to be scared of him anymore. So far, all signs point to him roasting my cat on a spit made of her own bones. (Just kidding if you read this, Cornbread!!!)

Next is Text, whose name is actually Shannon Swords, who is the common denominator of this day of recording since it's his album or EP or whatever that is being worked on. I used to work with Shannon and once he stole a hoodie from our company store after successfully using a Jedi mind trick on me. Then a few weeks later he got Larry to give him a Curb Service t-shirt for free. The thing I wonder about Shannon is how many dollars he has actually spent on clothes in his life.

Next up we have a young gentleman who goes by the name Paulie Walnuts. It is impossible to find video footage of Paulie Walnuts (by impossible I mean "not likely if it is Saturday and you are lazy and do not want to look very long") because he shares a moniker with a character from The Sopranos.

Also, Matt Harsh is coming over. Harsh helped direct and shoot the music video I worked on a few weeks ago, and during that time I discovered that he is really funny. He talked about working security at a bar full of thugs and how nobody listened to a thing they were told, and then how the Cha-Cha Slide came on and they all did it happily and in perfect unison. Harsh said he wants to write a version of the Cha-Cha Slide that is like "No shades inside! No fights inside! E-very-bo-dy tip your bartenders!" and I laughed really hard, then inscribed him into my Book of Life forever because I love funny people. Here is a good photo of Harsh.

Wish me luck. Right now I am staring at Larry because he just woke up and got the vacuum out. Of all the tools necessary to get us through today, I do not think a vacuum is one of them.

*The only Champaign rapper who scares me more than Cornbread is Duckman. I have actual reason to be scared of Duckman, though, because I am fairly sure he is actually insane. First of all, his name is Duckman. Second of all, his MySpace bio is this: I am duckman greatest rapper in the world. my new cd is coming. i am el presidente

**This morning I struggled with our new french press. I don't know how much coffee to put in. I would rather have the brew be too strong than weak, so I ended up just dumping seven or eight tablespoons in. The only thing I know now is that seven or eight tablespoons is too much.

Also, have you ever seen this coffee mug?