You Are Among Friends

This is from LAST spring; don't get it twisted. But still! THIS will be happening outside! Soon and very soon!

This was a deadline weekend for me (these happen monthly as part of my MFA program), so of course I spent almost the entire thing chained to my desk, growing meaner and more grimy by the hour. You guys should see my desk right now, seriously. It's a museum display of procrastination and coping mechanisms. My wallet's up here. There's a Coke Zero can. I don't want to talk about it.*

I assume everyone has his or her favorite modes of procrastination. Personally, mine is to avoid stress by pretending that I would totally not mind spending my entire day and night working on an assignment. I'll stretch out at my desk at 8:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning, holding my coffee, and think: It would be my pleasure to be still sitting here at 8:30 tonight. This mindset frees me of stress-inducing factors like "a realistic timeline" and "hard work." Unfortunately it is also NOT TRUE because NO, OBVIOUSLY I actually would hate to sit here all day on the first warm-ish weekend of the year. But did I? I certainly did.

Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid. Or at least NOOOOOOOT VERYYYY PRAAAAACTICALLLLLLL.

I didn't whine or panic, though (ok I whined a little but only toward the end), because instead of letting myself do those things, I chose to turn hatefully inward and say to myself, see these feelings that we don't like? We can avoid these hateful feelings in the future by TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.

Back on the horse. Spring is coming, I can tell; it's already such a relief. I nearly cried with joy when I heard it raining outside today from the depths of my homework prison. Rain! Because it's too warm for snow!

*Speaking of thinking a soda is disgusting, the world deserves to hear about the time my mom famously gave Dr. Pepper an EPIC BURN. We were on family vacation a few years ago, sitting around our flimsy resort house where there is nothing to do at night, and we were all eating cheese and watching Animal Planet or something. One of us opened a Dr. Pepper, and my mom was all grossed out and said "I bet I know why they call it Dr. Pepper...because it TASTES LIKE MEDICINE PRESCRIBED BY A DOCTOR!!!"

FACE, DR. PEPPER!

THIS SATURDAY IN CHICAGO, ILLINOIS:

at the newly-relocated ohno!doom gallery, the torn pages show opens -- a collection of chicago-area (i think the "area" was added for me, pretty sure everyone else is a legit chicagoan) writers team up with chicago artists to write and illustrate a collection of children's stories.

the opening is at the gallery (1800 n. milwaukee) from 6-10 pm on saturday, so if you live in the area, come out!

my story (set in brooklyn, starring poppies and mermaids) is being illustrated by jason brammer, and can i just say: i don't want to gank a bunch of images from his site, but you should click here. like, now-ish.

ok, what else. i feel oppressed because the torn pages flyer is still over there on my left. what else can i say about it? OH YEAH, if you can't make it to the opening, you should still try and check out the show - it'll be hanging through march 2nd. word.

- six years ago today, my cousin macey was murdered. she was ten months old. her death is still a pit stuck way down deep in my guts and i don't think it will ever dislodge. everybody's got their great big sadnesses and that one is mine.

- last weekend, i turned in my first round of grad school work. not only was it turned in both fully formed and on time, it was turned in ahead of time. hear that, undergraduate past of procrastination and panic? i have vanquished you!

- there is a very sweet and flattering review of you are among friends on smile politely this week, written by a lady (cristy scoggins) i admire very much. thank you thank you thank you, y'all.

- my dear sweet funny amazing mom's birthday begins in forty minutes! MAMA! SEE YOU IN CHICAGO! btw!

i'm in grad school, you guys! i'm at school! i'm a student!

so, i hadn't meant to keep all of this schooling a secret, but apparently i had been doing just that, because one of my dear friends (who shall remain innocent and nameless) told me a couple weeks ago that one of the top searches that led people to her blog was "lindsey markel grad school." you guys, i am not the olsen twins, ok? you don't have to watch inside edition to figure out where i'm going to school. i am currently a first-semester student in lesley university's low-residency mfa program, which means that i am ending day seven of ten in cambridge, massachusetts as i type.

i really love cambridge, and it was a happy moment for me today when i realized that i'll be spending a semi-considerable amount of time here over the next two years. lesley's low-residency format means that i'll be here on campus for the first ten days of each semester--while i'm here, i work out my independent study contract with my semester advisor (currently the badass laurie foos), and attend various seminars, workshops and readings for about a million hours a day. after the residency ends, i'll go back home and work independently, sending my advisor new work (both fiction drafts and craft essays on the books i'm reading) by regular monthly deadlines. i'm also taking a class in ten-minute playwriting this semester! the schedule is intense, but necessarily so, and i have truly enjoyed my time here so far. i've never spent any time near/on the east coast before, and when i got here last friday and ventured outside to explore the neighborhood, it was definitely surreal to wander across harvard yard as the snow fell around me.

i also have several friends in the area, and since my school schedule is starting to calm down, i was able to go out with corie tonight! i hadn't seen corie since... oh god. since my birthday party two years ago? and it was so good to see her and get to hug her, let alone be able to eat delicious foods with her at sunset grille and peruse a 400-beer menu with her. and, of course, to then try her raspberry framboise ice cream float while talking about life and love. it seems like most of the girls in my program are either wise older ladies coming back to extend their education or recent college graduates with big sparkly diamond wedding rings. i am, of course, somewhere in the middle, so besides the pleasure of getting to see my friend again, it was wonderful to hang with someone who is in a similar place in life as i am. i mean, it's a great place to be.

ok being in Writing School makes me a dolt with words, so i am going to go to bed as soon as i tell this story:

i'm living in a b&b for my ten days here, and the place is really pretty average--my room is overheated and small, and management has clearly tampered with the showerhead to create a low flow situation that basically feels like God spitting on me from above at seven in the morning. but there's a small room downstairs where they put out a little continental breakfast, and where hot tea and mini candy bars are available all day. a couple days ago, i felt particularly exhausted and stressed after returning to my room, so i snuck downstairs, tucked all of the little chocolates from the candy bowl into my hoodie pocket, and then tiptoed back to my room and ate them on my bed while watching tv shows about people having sex and/or going to rehab. about ten minutes later, i heard footsteps shuffling right outside my door, and then somebody knocked. i jumped up, immediately scrambled to gather all of the chocolate wrappers that were strewn across the bedspread, tripped over myself to hide them in the trash, and the very specific thought that flashed in my head was: THEY KNOW. THEY KNOW ABOUT THE CANDY BARS.

when i opened the door, the middle-aged traveler on the other side was surprised to see me, a stranger, and was then really embarrassed that she'd knocked on the wrong door. meanwhile, the incredible sound that all of those foil wrappers made crushing against each other still echoes in my skull.*

goodnight.

*i would also like to be responsible and say that i am not posting this story to share the terrible shame of how i ate a bunch of chocolate. i never shame myself for my eating choices, for more reasons than i have time to list. the funny part is that i took all of the free chocolate offered to the entire hotel and then assumed that management was gonna come up to my room and call me out on it, perhaps request that i walk down to the local cvs and replenish the supply.